I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
