You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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