I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
