Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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