I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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