I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
