he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
