He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
