I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
