I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
