I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
