I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
