Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
