your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
