i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
