my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
