I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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