my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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