You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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