yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm bleeding and have questions
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