I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
