I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
