do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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