did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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