OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
