Don't you send me to vm
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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