wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
