4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ugly people sure do ruin things
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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