We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
