We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
