There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I deserve this hangover.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
