yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
