I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
