Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
