physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
