i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What drink are we having for lunch?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
