No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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