I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
