conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
