love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
