you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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