Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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