So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
