Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
