btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
