ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
