rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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