Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
