So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
