People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
